3-steps to becoming who you want to be!

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Step 1 – Set Intentions

“Set a goa) so big that you can’t achieve it until you become the person who can.”

Sixteen years ago I met my spiritual mentor who taught me the art and power of setting intentions. Intentions are not goals. Intentions are our internal GPS and will take us a lot further than any goal can. Goals are set from the mind and are finite. Intentions arise from the heart and are whole in and of themselves. As I sat down to write my intentions more than a decade ago, what emerged was so big that these intentions are still unfolding in my life today. It’s these big intentions that bring about a change in us. My intentions are continuing to guide the trajectory of my life years later. They are responsible for how my life has unfolded since then and where my life is going. They are the impetus behind my change. Because without change there is stagnation and we all know what stagnation does to us, to our bodies, to our businesses. Change is the only constant. How then, do you begin to let go of who you have become as a result of your conditioning, so you can be who you want to be? The key is to open your heart to what wants to emerge through you. I had to really tune in and listen to my heart’s desire and allow the intentions to arise from within me. Because you see that’s how we manifest. We manifest when we know what the heart wants and then align our actions based on those desires. Because the mind is simply a servant to the heart. Heart is the king. Unfortunately, we have made mind the master and heart the servant in our society. Magic happens and miracles unfold when we follow the desires of the heart. Tuning into the desires of the heart takes discernment. It takes practice. We can begin this practice by quietening down the mind, so that it is not so loud. We do that with meditation. Like anything else in life this, too, requires practice. By definition practice means that you perform a skill repeatedly until you become better at it. Which means there will be times when you will fail. There will be times when you will want to give up. There will be times when you will feel lost. But once you shed the skin of your conditioning you will emerge as the new version of you. How do we even begin such a deep process because we all know that change requires moving past our inner resistance. That change is simple but it doesn’t come easy. It will require your persistence, determination and investment in you! Let’s begin today with a dose of mediation and making it a regular practice. Which means bringing your mind to a point of stillness. I do it through watching my breath go in and come out. I bring my focus to the nostrils and feel the temperature of the air that I am breathing in and exhaling out. I do this practice for 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night. I will discuss more about intention setting in part two. In the meantime happy meditating!

Step 2 – Meditate

“Set a goal (intention) so big that you can’t achieve it until you become the person who can.”

There is a lot of discussion and focus on how to become good leaders on this platform. Judging by the state of affairs of our planet, I say we need revolutionaries, not just good leaders. Revolutionaries are made from the fabric of emotional intelligence. It’s an inside job. Emotional intelligence is the key ingredient that sets a strong foundation for positive change. It sets us up to influence change. Emotional intelligence created revolutionaries like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Rock solid foundation is needed for big movements such as civil rights, equality and social justice.

While we know the importance of emotional intelligence very few know or talk about what creates lack of emotional intelligence or ways we can we become more emotionally intelligent. Trauma leads to lack of emotional intelligence. Trauma fragments the soul causing children in adult bodies unless integrated. Lack of emotional intelligence is caused by lack of integration. So much so that we suffer from cognitive disabilities, unbeknownst to us and don’t realize the consequences of our actions until it’s too late. This is reflected in our personal and professional lives, you need look no further. We can ignore the dysfunction but we can’t escape it. It stares at us in the face every moment of the day.

The solution is simple, I am not saying it’s easy. The solution is integration. Integration helps us to respond rather than react. Responding comes from a place of wisdom rather than fear. When our inner child has not been integrated, we remain fearful. How can we be emotionally intelligent when we are in fear? This foundation has to be set on the inner first and then the outer foundation will follow suit. Things will fall into place. You won’t have to work so hard at setting an external foundation. This process cannot happen without our willingness. The integration process starts with us. No one can do it for us. It starts with a journey within. It starts with your desire to become a better version of you. It starts with self reflection rather than projection. It starts with you feeling your emotions. Not reacting to your emotions, but simply feeling them. In order to feel your emotions, you have to first become aware of what it is that you are feeling. Without awareness this journey to the making of a revolutionary is not possible. As mentioned above, step one to awareness is meditation. Which will quieten the mind enough so you can feel your emotions. So, you are no longer numb to your feelings. How does transformation happen when we begin to feel our emotions?

Step 3 – Feel

We left off with feeling your feelings in part 2. How does that bring about change you may ask? There have been studies done that show that when you can be present to whatever emotion is arising from within you, there is something that happen between the amygdala and the hippocampus in the brain that helps you to release trauma. These are two centres in the brain that store memories of trauma. When you can remain present to your emotions, without reacting to them, it helps your brain to integrate these memories. These memories are likely the result of trauma. In this manner the trauma becomes a part of the canvas of your memories instead of sticking out all the time and making its presence known.

It is truly that simple to heal from trauma, but not easy. The discomfort of our feelings is what makes it so challenging. Also, because we are not taught to do this work from childhood, the trauma gets layered in our energy field. Which means it has to be integrated in layers. Our job is to continue to feel our emotions so that we can be transformed into another version of us.

To summarise the three action steps to becoming a better version of you are:
1) Set Intentions: Allow the intentions to arise from within you, rather than going and searching for them with your mind.
2) Meditate – No less than 5 minutes twice a day. Simply sit there and watch your breath go in and out. If you forget; that’s okay. Come back to it when you can remember. The wandering of the mind is part of the process. Allow the process to unfold.
3) Feel: Allow your self to feel what you are feeling. Without judgement or labels.

That’s it! It is that simple.

Do this work with joy and excitement in anticipation of the new version of you.

These simple steps are your guide posts to the newer, better version of you. How successful you are in life, is measured by the amount of uncomfortable emotions you are willing to feel.

Happy transforming!

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